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1dIwg2A's Achievements


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  1. Dang, truth. This all sounds spot on, at least for me. I guess I wanted someone who was transparent and up front, not misleading, and clear about what really goes into all of this. And a lot of the “maybe” and standoffish responses I’ve noticed I used to use that as a fallback to protect myself if I found out someone is not truly who they present to be. Jumping into any commitment has majorly uprooted a former life of mine, yeah, and it does come at a major cost. I’m not making money, I’m hoping things’ll pan out, and what then if I don’t really like them? What if it’s such a compromise to myself that I found I settled for a life I could have just as easily been making for myself? Like, really, I can figure out how to provide this stuff (and now do). It‘s just the human connections I’m lacking. We all want that, that makes a lot of sense. I’m catching on that there’s always some sort of caveat, though, and like he was saying, it’s not always monetary. I deleted my profile before (obviously came back) because I got tired of it, even though I’ve connected with a few matches for me over the years I was actually participating online - none of it really turned into meeting. I didn’t feel ready, or felt like it was too much of a rush. I do feel confident in eventually meeting one guy though because we’ve developed a relationship very slowly over a year, and still to this day, we talk and actually enjoy messaging each other. Actually, when we first made contact online, I asked him to tone it back originally when he wanted to message me multiple times per week. I wasn’t emotionally very available, only in spurts (like now), and then I would have to go back to tend to my own demanding work life. But we would message or get into doing some sort of weekly check in and that worked perfectly fine with me. Again, it wasn’t rushed. He just would message me like twice and I would be like dude back off. And when we finally communicated how often we wanted to talk after a few weeks or months of talking, we eventually came to some sort of agreement. I mean, how was I going to know if I really wanted to agree to communicate with someone indefinitely when I didn’t even know if I liked them??? I’m not gonna just make a commitment on week 1. But we did eventually work something out. I wasn’t in any rush to go anywhere. I’ve done that a couple times, allowing someone to rush me into a commitment, because I’ve really just wanted some temporary (very temporary, one day) connection which felt great, and it came to eventually hurt each time. Moving in with someone I know nothing about who has given me very limited information became one of my regrets and bigger learning lessons. Worthwhile stuff seems to take time to build (isn’t that what stability really is about?), and I’m not so keen to be pushed around or obligated by other people’s wants and and needs as much now. I think ultimately I’ve kept coming back for the fantasy of no worries, getting away from life, and doing some radical change like coming out of a combustion chamber two years later, all while enjoying a great sexual connection and companionship, revamped and ready to tackle the world, and fly away. I seem to do that when I realize I want a change or I’m realizing I’m not as happy as I’d like to be. Like this morning, getting on here. But maybe it is all just that - a fantasy with a hidden price tag. One big maybe. Seems like life ain’t one big cruise, and I gotta shape it how I want it to be if I wanna be certain. My two cents.
  2. Wouldn’t that place be for something like Recon? I think that’s the BDSM App/website (Recon.com), but Masters and Slaves usually(?) ask for the arrangements. Not sure about Doms. It’d be cool if some of these networks got together and started collaborating.
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