Maybe the problem is that I expected it to be easy and learned too late that is extremely challenging. The difficulty of life combined with the disapointment brought by major experience (love, work, friendship) keeps me up or makes me bury my head under the pillow.

Nothing in life that is good is ever easy. The harder it is to achieve, the better it usually is in the long run. Finding a perfect houseboy is one of those things. I had one for 5 years and it was amazing for me and for him. He got a full education and had a great start on his life. I had someone I adored and love to go out with and spend time with. Relationships are often not meant to last forever, especially in a gay relationship and I always know that when I approach it. We both worked hard to keep it good for both of us the 5 years it lasted and it was not easy at times but it was certainly worth it.