Ivanhoe

ADVICE. There are various bits of advice on these boards and on the site. Nobody should swallow any of it whole - including mine. The most important protection any of us have here is our own common sense. Its very important to realize and remember the bad guys can post too and its very much to their nasty benefit to post, and give/encourage support for, bad advice. TIME - INVESTMENT AND COMMUNICATION. Job, and employee, seeking takes time, effort and information, especially when (as here) the potential job has so many open variables. Yes, back and forth emails take time and effort. For legitimate guys, that’s an investment which can payoff with a good result and/or by avoiding bad results. For bad guys, that time and effort tends to raise their investment beyond the value they can recover with their scam. Thus, one way to weed out the not (and barely) serious, and the bad guys, is to have significant back and forth communication and, the more you have, the more info you’ll have. That’s more to cross check and consider and its more to verify later (maybe in person) and less to be surprised by later. TIME - PRESSURE. One of any bad guy’s tools is time pressure, so don’t fall for it. If a guy really is homeless, or being beaten, etc., every local community has temporary solutions. Even if a legitimate guy has other prospects and is about to make a decision, he has incentives to make the best choice among his alternatives, including you. CREDIBILITY THROUGH POSTS. Even if all the above seems wise and honest (or whatever), it doesn’t prove I am those things; and it’s the same for everybody else. Test it with communication - is the guy consistently wise and honest (or whatever) in multiple emails, or does he display as much (or more) bad than good? A bad guy might very well be the loudest voice here, denouncing bad guys, giving advice which assists his own dirty schemes and hoping/expecting others to believe he’s good because he’s SO “against” bad. Good luck to the good guys and bad luck to the bad guys!

This appears to be an honest evaluation for many. For those who have this attitude, I assume you won't mind when you get summarily thrown out after gaining a fews pounds, losing a little muscle tone or turning 23 - in favor of a hotter, younger guy.

You asked here, so I'll respond here. I don't "know" the answers but, as a "potential employer", I'll offer these comments for whatever they're worth - if anything. The part of your profile which most needs work is the "what do you expect of a houseboy". I don't understand why the site asks this of houseboys but you should understand this to be where you say what you expect to and/or can do for the employer. Yours says "model, musician, entrepreneur". I doubt there are many employers looking for that "help" ... especially, at the price of "salary, room/board, travel and health benefits". That's a lot of benefits, which cost a lot of money. For a houseboy, few/no employers can deduct those costs on their tax returns, so they must pay you after paying their own income-based taxes. Its much easier than you might imagine for his federal, state and local income taxes, plus self-employment taxes, to be near or above 50% - especially for a "single" taxpayer, which most of us are. [28% federal tax starts at 82,400 - can currently go to 35% - add 5% or more state/local income taxes and about 14.1% (net) self-employment tax.] That means the employer needs to earn about $50,000 (or more) to pay $25,000 (or more) of those taxes and have $25,000 (or less) left to fund your benefits. If he owns a business, part of your costs to him might be deductible on his tax returns, saving him a bunch of taxes. But the personal part of your services are not deductible - unless he's willing to committ federal, state and local tax fraud. Also, most businessmen want to separate personal from business, not combine them. You are dealing with a small population. Gay/bi men with incomes very far above average, who look at this site and who do not already have the business and/or personal help they need (or are looking to replace the existing help). Sex seems important to many here. You say "if chemistry is right" and you're bottom only. Okay but both of those reduce the potential employer group even more. Also, you "party". I'm not sure what that means but it conjures notions of substantial use of very potent drugs. Very few employers trusting you in their homes and/or businesses will want that. Probably not what you wanted to hear but its real, accurate and sincere. Good luck!

Any site like this will attract scammers, even violent criminals, looking to take money they won't earn -and, of course but sadly, gay/bi men are popular targets. I can't even imagine how Michael (or others) could preclude all of them. And, I agree he (or somebody)does a good job of eliminating bad listings when they are reported. It seems very likely that, when you see certain phrases or feel certain attitudes in a profile, you should avoid that person. Like "looking for offers", "love to be pampered", "finer things", and/or "room, board, salary, car, travel, health care, retirement plan, other benefits". Other "red flag" phrases, guys?

Michael: I do not want to misrepresent anything. Certainly, your words speak for you, not mine. My reaction was to what I "heard". Maybe I could have been better focused. Certainly, it will take resources to afford a houseboy but "mere" room, board and transportation are significant resources too. But perhaps my biggest complaint is the notion that flying out to visit a potential houseboy should be ordinary or typical, and preferred in all cases, to sending him $100 travel money. One can't fly far for $100. And that doesn't count the income lost due to being away from work. Not everybody is free to fly around the country, especially those who actually need a houseboy's help. In many cases, the houseboy's pay/benefits and taxes thereon will be personal expense. That means the houseboy will cost the employer almost twice as much of his income as the houseboy actually gets. If an employer controls a business and is willing to cheat, all the houseboy's cost could be tax deductible and, thus, cost the employer many fewer total dollars. The point is: there are lots of different situations. I hope the site, and your comments, will allow room for all of them, as long as they are honest. Thanks for making a reply. It allows more information and understanding to come forth.

Well, Michael, then I guess many "employer" listings are wasting their time on your site. I didn't realize it was only for rich older guys and gold digging younger ones. I had thought furnished room, board, transportation, a safe/sane/secure place to be, with advice/input/assistance from an older, more experienced guy might be enough (or almost enough) to compensate a young guy who wants to take advantage of life's opportunities from a stable base; like your site says: "a close connection with someone". But its looking like your site actually is about exactly what it says it isn't. What a shame. There should be room for all who are honest.

There may be specific statutes but most criminal law is State law and it will vary from place to place. If you're in one State and he's in another, you have the "conflict of law" issue of which State's laws apply. If you're dealing over the internet, there is also the problem of identity (i.e., who, in fact, were you in contact with). Over $80, nobody will care and you can't afford to pursue action. Or, you can pay a lawyer several $100s to find the law and then spend many hours of your time trying to track him down and get charges filed against the offender. Michael's advice is good and sound - and the only advice he can give - to protect the site from claims. We all know a site like this will attract scammers, so its clearly on each of us to protect ourselves. I got taken for $100 of "gas money" by somebody about 600 miles away. I knew it likely was a scam but, if it weren't, it would easily have been worth that. Even as a scam, it was worth $100 to know that and quit investing my time on that guy's potential. Be careful and good luck!