Hello Houseboy.com World,
I am Arthur and have been here with Boyd and William since 24 Oct 2013. How I am going to reply to all of this is: I have printed off the above (all three inputs) and will give MY FACTUAL PERSEPTION/OPINION/VIEWPOINT on things in the order that you read them as stated above. I will not demean anyone involved. Period. I will skip the HATE that is being used (Love Conquers Hate, right? Can I get an AMEN?!). To make it easier to follow, I will do my best to follow each participant's "paragraphs."
Here we go!
Carlos Lopez, Lopez817:
I had a handful of selections to choose from before I chose to come here to Florida from Indiana to Boyd and William. Why them? They, more William actually, were offering something better than the others and more to what I wanted and could be more acceptable about my decision when I told my family where and what I was going to be doing and for whom. I'm sure there are "houseboys" on here that can/could relate. I was coming from living in the city to a place in a country setting; something totally new to me. Might I say, it has been such a great change of lifestyle and a great learning/knowledge experience as well.
I asked the right questions: I verified via Google Maps where this place was, I verified his places of businesses, I made sure he was who he said he was and had (his businesses), I asked for a round-trip plane ticket so I would have a way back home and received as such (I was emailed an itinerary of plane travel), I was upfront and honest about what all I had and did not have and made arrangements to fill in the voids (because nature hates a void!).
Yes, William and I picked up Carlos from the ATL airport. We were in Atlanta on a business trip and it just made logical sense to get two birds with one stone there. I didn't know Carlos was flying in on a one-way ticket. Yes, the hotel room only had one bed, but it also had a pull out couch as well. Boyd is, indeed, a nice fellow.
Carlos's work around the house/farm is hearsay at this point. I did not and have not read their (Carlos's and William's) conversations, so I cannot provide my input on that. To me, each "houseboy" and each "employer" should know what to say, have written, agreeables/expectations, etc. before people start traveling. Carlos came to the point where he wanted to leave and bus fare was provided.
I felt as thought Carlos did not want to be "a part of the 'familiness' in the house." His actions spoke louder than his words; I had found him multiple times invested about being on Grindr and-the-like apps, as well as Adam4Adam.com. (This will come into play later.) Communication is a two-way street; we are to listen, acknowledge, and converse with one another at the level where both (or more) parties can understand the conversation thoroughly. From my viewpoint, this didn't happen between Carlos and William. I have been here 1.5yrs, Carlos only about a week. This is America; are we not all out to benefit ourselves? "Employers" "hire" "houseboys" for a set of reasons to benefit them, and, just the same, "houseboys" are "hired" by "employers" because they see a benefit there.
"The work is constant and hard..." Of course it is! It's a farm (at the time there were goats, chickens, rabbits, a dog, and worms)! With a huge (approx. 80'x80') garden! There is always something to do here year round.
It could very well be that Carlos "reached a saturation of just how much [he] could tolerate" because he was not a good match for this household and the people there. Sometimes it doesn't always work out and we have to be an adult about it and act/plan accordingly. Carlos is still, as far as I know, with Sean and they are great together. See? Things worked out there; they were a better fit verses our place.
Our place is not one of "frustration." Sure, tensions are strained from time-to-time, but that's going to happen when new people start living closely together; for example, dorm life, multi-generations under one roof, extended stay shelters, etc.
Gene Schneider, LegitNeed:
Firstly, let's give a handie to Gene for being honest in his response in his first line. The forums are here so that people can give their two-cents about anything and everything, whether if it's helpful or not.
Gene gave his two-cents based upon his past experiences and was showing his example of what he would have done in the situation described. At least, that's how I read it.
Again, I am not going to promote HATE, so I'll leave it at that. The words of encouragement, I'm sure to Carlos, are appreciated.
This "situation" is rather unique, as are everyone's. Carlos and William did communicate via email, Facebook, and text message. I am the inside "houseboy" and Carlos would be the outside "houseboy/farmboy." This was made very clear to me and that I still had a job. I worked off the expenses it took to get me down here; no complaints there from me. Carlos did have a few extra bags upon arrival than I was expecting to see for someone staying for a week. When I came down for TWO WEEKS, I packed a carry-on luggage bag, my backpack, and light jacket. When Carlos arrived, he had to at least checked one bag, if not two (so you, the reader, can get a visual). We learned more about Carlos the rest of that day and the next while driving back to the house, including his liking of pot/weed. We well informed him that there is a zero tolerance policy at the house about illegal/mistreated substances, and he agreed to such. There were A LOT of items that Carlos brought with him that we found "weird," but to him it could all be normal, everyday stuff.
All of us at the house (Boyd, William, and myself) work away from home in Tallahassee, so yes, there was a HUGE trustworthiness bestowed upon Carlos to be left alone at the house after knowing him in person for a day or two. From what I witnessed, Carlos was given instruction and shown examples of things to do, etc. from William. William is a multi-business owner.
Yes, I did find out where Carlos was spending his time. The internet is a tool and I used it. Certain websites and apps have a last login date and a time, if given. I only used what was publicly provided, aka the facts. It's also not my fault of others not knowing of this tool/power. Carlos chose to leave and there is no denying that fact. In doing so, in my opinion, Carlos voided whatever he and William agreed upon to get him back to Texas and, logically, was given the cheapest option to return where he came from. It was the following day that Carlos had his bags packed and was ready to go, but before then plans had changed yet again. Carlos asked for the value of the bus fare and demanded such in cash, not a bus voucher/ticket. A very short time later, a Ford Tauras pulls into the driveway and Carlos rushed out with his belongings. I don't personally know how long Carlos and Sean had been talking, but at that moment it felt to me as though Carlos saw a way to get out of Texas, somewhere, anywhere, and we were hosting him until he could find a better suitor.
In closing about William, reading his post gave me a headache with all the editorial errors. It's a constant #TheStruggleIsReal with him about that.
PHEW!!!!! If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
P.S. If there are any grammatical errors, please let me know so I may learn from them.