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Negotiating terms of engagementWhile I’ve read through the HB site for several years, this late summer and fall marks my first serious search to find a houseboy to live with me. I've had mixed results but no successful engagement of a houseboy. First off, I pass by profile with a lot of “ask me,” “maybe,” and “it depends” responses. I figure they are either window shopping, or will answer my question the way they perceive I would view favorably. Then I have a pretty good eye for fakes. The Ghana and Nigeria operators often give clues in their language usage. Nonetheless, I did lose several hundred dollars to one guy, in a gamble I knew was risky. But in dealing with young men who I perceive to be legitimate candidates I spend a lot of time going back and forth sharing information. First off, I want to be sure the understand me and my situation and needs. I want to discover what they really can an will do (sex is a very low priority in my search, housework, high.). Moreover I don’t wan to coerce a man to come here until he is certain he wants to come. I consciously avoid being pushy or rushing a commitment. I’ve corresponded with a couple of young men who dealt with me extensively but ended up choosing other employers. In both cases they sensed my slowed-down pace, non-pushy attitude as reluctance on my part. In both cases, I think they accepted placements far less desirable than what I offered (my opinion) I’d welcome feedback on the experience of others who have successfully engaged suitable houseboys, and even from those who have had little or no success.