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Dad49 last won the day on November 24

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About Dad49

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  1. Thanks for the heads up, RealDad. You know, it occurs to me that we talk about these scam accounts as though they were real people. One of the shortcomings of the Internet is sometimes seen as a feature: anonymity. Sometimes Google will help to identify photos that are posted elsewhere on the Web, but not always For all we know these accounts could be posted by a little old grandmother in her room at the assisted living center, or by a group of multiple platform scammers in Western Africa. Ghana and to a lesser extent Nigeria are sources of tons of scams preying on lonely men on dating and hookup sites across the Internet. These are sometimes identifiable by the non-standard way they write place names, or sentences lacking the usual personal pronouns. But, even those scammers are learning to avoid these signs. You never know for certain who is on the other end of a posting or email.
  2. While the origin of this holiday is sometimes clouded by folklore, it has been a time to give thanks for the bounty in our lives. But as a time when families and friends gather for a giant meal of turkey (usually) an all the trimmings, some feel left out, often because the are. I bring a special greeting to the employers who have yet to connect with a houseboy. A young man who would set a beautiful table, one who would help prepare the meal, greet guests and see to their comfort, and one who, when all was said and done would sit next to his dad/employer in front of the tv for football, or by the fireplace for quiet reflection, yes, you long for it, I hope it will be fulfilled. I also bring greetings to all of the houseboys. To those who have found a home where they are safe, and warm, and appreciated, even loved. But I also think about those poor souls who have entered into an arrangement that has turned abusive, but hard to leave. Most of all I think about those houseboys who are without a house to call home. Whether living lonely and/or poor, or just longing for a place where they might be needed, accepted and lovedo. I pray for the men who find they might survive by misrepresenting to potential employers in order to extract money not earned. Even they have an empty place in their heart that longs to be filled. May we all be thankful for what we have, be mindful that when a home is matched to a houseboy, it is special for the employer and the houseboy, that there is trust, and love, and it must be honored. I hope in the coming years, all of us who seek a houseboy, and all of those houseboys who seek a place will be safe, and will find a relationship that works for both. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
  3. Taken care of? Well, my sense is that everyone has a slightly different vision of the Houseboy-Employer relationship. I see it as a mutual needs situation. An employer needs or wants someone to come into his home to add something that is missing. It might be sex, affection, companionship or household management services. Often it’s a combination of some or all of the foregoing. A houseboy needs some of the same things, but often is in need a stability, a safe home and an opportunity to improve his position in life. There needs to be a serious process to match what each needs and wants with what the he can and wants to share with the other. It’s impossible to say which one is taking care of the other. In a good match, ideally, there are shared goals and each is mindful of what the other expects. I’m not sure I’ll find the houseboy I have in mind. I believe that what I have to offer would be a great deal for a hardworking honest and loyal young man. The small handful of potential houseboys I have found to meet my needs didn’t see enough in it for themselves to take the chance.
  4. DJHJD, One of my most recent experiences affirmed your last comment. I had a guy that was positive he could do what I needed after reading my rather lengthy and detailed description. I then asked him to write me a short page about his experience, his current living arrangements and why he was ready to move to northeastern Illinois just as we are moving into winter. A week later, the crickets are still chirping. Nothing in response. He is still on the site, having posted a better profile photo. What’s wrong with a short note, “I changed my mind”?
  5. While I’ve read through the HB site for several years, this late summer and fall marks my first serious search to find a houseboy to live with me. I've had mixed results but no successful engagement of a houseboy. First off, I pass by profile with a lot of “ask me,” “maybe,” and “it depends” responses. I figure they are either window shopping, or will answer my question the way they perceive I would view favorably. Then I have a pretty good eye for fakes. The Ghana and Nigeria operators often give clues in their language usage. Nonetheless, I did lose several hundred dollars to one guy, in a gamble I knew was risky. But in dealing with young men who I perceive to be legitimate candidates I spend a lot of time going back and forth sharing information. First off, I want to be sure the understand me and my situation and needs. I want to discover what they really can an will do (sex is a very low priority in my search, housework, high.). Moreover I don’t wan to coerce a man to come here until he is certain he wants to come. I consciously avoid being pushy or rushing a commitment. I’ve corresponded with a couple of young men who dealt with me extensively but ended up choosing other employers. In both cases they sensed my slowed-down pace, non-pushy attitude as reluctance on my part. In both cases, I think they accepted placements far less desirable than what I offered (my opinion) I’d welcome feedback on the experience of others who have successfully engaged suitable houseboys, and even from those who have had little or no success.
  6. Dad49

    Devinbrn5010 ALERT

    Buck, I don’t think it was the same guy. I think there are a lot of guys in the same ilk. I don’t know if he was a plain out con, or just to messed up in his life that he lost track of the truth and/or had little faith that 6 months to 2 years or more in an honest, non-abusive home situation could help him to find a path to a life he could be proud to lead. I am not perfect, and don’t expect ion perfection of others. But holy cow!
  7. Dad49

    Devinbrn5010 ALERT

    I just had a similar experience with a guy who says he lives in South Carolina, but was raised in Georgia. Knowing full well that advancing these guys money is foolish, I bought into his thing. I even used airline miles to fly him to me. But I put him on a plane home (with more miles) When it was obvious that his financial needs were a bottomless pit. I kind of believe that this guy’s life is a mess, and I’d have worked with that if he hadn’t played me too far. Live and learn, this one cost me more than I’m willing to admit publicly.
  8. Photo verification is so easy. After wasting a lot of time with some scammers, I’m not seriously discussing arrangements with those who aren’t verified.
  9. Have you noticed how few of these guys verify their profiles. It is simple to do. I’m to the point of not considering others, but it leaves a pretty small pool
  10. Dad49


    I was communicating with Jerrymay0 whose profile has the default New York location, but he said he was now in Houston. He had come out of an abusive houseboy situation in California and was staying with a friend. He had zero money and some days went without eating. (Evidently the family friend providing a roof over his head could spare no crumbs). He convinced me to go to text messaging. He said he was Canadian, and had lost his passport. This was going to be handled by his family friend, but he didn’t know where he was going to get the money. I ran his photos (too professional for a broke boy) through a reverse image engine and they came out clean. The number I was texting to had a Utah area code, though Utah had no mention in his back story. I did a reverse search and it listed as a non-fixed VOIP line belonging to an HVAC contractor outside of Salt Lake City. I called the number and it was answered as a Google Voice number, and after providing my name, it rang through to the HVAC company. This was not their main number, but obviously this guy had somehow cloned or hijacked the number. I guess he could work there, but I doubt this character works an honest job. He texted me this morning, after which I blocked his number. I see now that I cannot raise his profile through a profile search. Other clues were that he was way too into me after a couple of brief exchanges. Fortunately I wasn’t born yesterday.
  11. Dad49


    I’ve got one now who fits most if the warning signs. But so far, while he talks about being broke, so far he hasn’t asked me for any. I’m pretty sure he will, and then ....
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