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zack6969

Hard to find a real Houseboy.

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Why is it so hard to find a guy that wants to be a real houseboy?  I've made a few contacts and after several emails it comes down that they want me to pay for their travel even though my profile explains everything.  If you are looking for job you go to them and apply.  You don't ask them to pay for your gas or taxi to get there.  I don't mind helping someone once they are here but not before I even know them.  A couple of them seemed like a really good match until they say I need to buy the plane ticket.  I know some people have money problems but if you want to work you need to find a way.  Am I wrong?

What gives?  Should I just delete my profile and leave as this seems like the trend?

Thanks.

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No, it's perfectly reasonable for them to expect you to pay for them to get to you.  You're the employer, so you ought to be the one with the ability to provide transportation.  Now, that doesn't mean that you necessarily need to purchase a plane ticket.  It's also reasonable for you to travel to their current city and interview them, possibly providing other transportation back.

Put yourself in their shoes.  If you were looking at employment at a startup company (which is what you effectively are), you'd expect them to buy a round-trip ticket for you (or travel to you) if they wanted to conduct an in-person interview.  And it doesn't inspire much confidence that you'd be there for very long or that it's a worthwhile company to work for, if they're not willing to spend money to find and hire the right people.

As the employer, you have the financial upper hand.  You ought to demonstrate this by being willing to pay for their expenses.  But, as always, remember the forum warning:  NEVER send money directly to them.  Those requests are almost certainly scams.

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Hi, I can agree with some of what you said but not all.  Twice I made plans to meet up with 2 different houseboys out of state.  The  2 were just last month.  I was driving down to Ft Lauderdale for 2 weeks and looked around the areas that I was going to drive through.  My thought was sort of meet and greet. I made a couple of contacts and told them I was heading down that area and we could meet. If it was a go I would stop and pick him up on my way back and take him to his new home in Massachusetts.  But after many emails working out all the details of what was expected from the both of us it ended with them wanting me to send them a plane ticket instead because they were not going to be around at the times I was going to be there.  Both times I never heard back from them.  So now I an cynical and that is why I wrote what I did.  I have had contact with more than those 2 and I'm beginning to think most guys on this site really don't want to be a houseboy. That's why I feel the way I do.  If you want to be here then make arraignments to get here on your own and I will take care of you..  It's all spelt out in my profile.  Maybe it's my age but what really gets me is I'm a great person and deserve better.  If I had a houseboy he would be treated just like family. I would be the type of person that he would differently know he could count on.  I drive to Florida once a year and I go to Fire Island twice during the summer and would love to take him with me. There could even be an inheritance of some kind down the line.  I can give you an example of the last one.  He lives in Florida and stated that he had a car but it would never make it so he would sell it.  All he would bring with him are clothes and a laptop.  We were all set.  I have a 2011 Jeep which is in excellent condition and a friend of mine was selling his 2014 Jeep which I really liked.  I asked him not sell it until I came back.  My thought was that I would buy his Jeep and give the houseboy that I brought back from Florida my Jeep.  But I wanted to surprise him so didn't say anything about it. He never responded to our last email.  So I guess I've done everything you mentioned before I made my comment.

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lots of people on this site are flakes and don't even read our initial emails or responses.  like all dating & hookup sites.

i usually find that by being clear & serious. and setting reasonable but firm expectations like texting, then phone chatting then video chatting, most of the flakes get weeded out quickly.  

some employers are gonna fly a boy out so it's not a wild expectation.  most guys in a position to be a houseboy can't afford to fly across the country on their own steam.  so if you make it clear, you're not gonna buy the ticket and they don't read your profile, ignore them.  don't be tempted by the possibility--that's when they have you to be scammed.  

and even though it's the majority experience, it doesn't make us look good to complain publically about the flakes.  luckily no one reads these forums.  most of the site is moribund & unmoderated.  

i have met good people here that were real, that i served in person. so with persistence, there are worthwhile guys on here.  good luck

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It can prove very difficult to discern users and flakes from the real deal, but it is important to remember that many people on this site don't have the funds to travel long distances for prospect. If you're local, there's no excuse - at most you could offer to cover the small travel cost but a short walk, bus or asking someone for a ride isn't asking too much. Your own judgment and preferences will need to become familiar to a serious candidate so a lack of compromise is already a red flag.

 

It all boils down to communication. Be up front about your needs and what works for you. Clarity is key. 

Best of luck in your efforts. :)

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I agree with Zack, if you are applying for any job it is your responsibility to get their. If they want money just to get to you, it is 95% likely to be a scam, you don't want them in your life or home. Zack stay strong you will find the right boy 

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It happened again to me last month.  Everything was going fine until "I don't have any money to get to you."  But I bet he is walking around with an IPhone.  My profile lays everything out.  Find a way here to get here and I will reimburse you. If it seems like things are not working out, I pay your way home.  You can't get much clearer than that.

Oh well, I'm still looking for a REAL HOUSEBOY. 

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Yes, times have changed.  We have had 4 long term (4-5 years) houseboys over the past 30 years.  Our last houseboy stayed in Key West in 2015, and we have been searching for a SERIOUS houseboy for nearly two years.  Times were when you had a dozen boys interviewing for the same position.  Now you can hardly get a boy to respond to an inquiry!  We still offer free room and board, weekly salary, cell phone, clothes, travel, and help with college books and expenses.  You would think SOMEONE would be at least a little bit interested.

 

Best wishes in your search. 

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Damn, if I was in my 20's I would take you up on the offer.  lol   I guess times have changed.  I would love to find one for long term.  I don't know how someone can pass up free room and board.  Mine would be part time live-in so they can go to school or get a job for spending money.  There are other benefits I want to offer but didn't want to put into my profile for personal reasons.

Good luck on your search.

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I've used this site when I was 22 and was fortunate enough to be hired by a wonderful older couple who.helped me get where I am today. So yes actual houseboys exist. I've occasionally come to read the forums and find the same back and forth. ALL SITES have ad bots, scammers on BOTH SIDES. It seems that employers who are here to use this as a hookup site like many other sites are the ones who get burned because their profiles are basically a lie and in retaliation houseboat who have been used or abused take advantage of those types of houseboys just like prostitutes do with straight men...and when reading the few profiles of houseboys some are sketchy because of what the majority are here for "sex hookups" so I agree with the author. It's difficult now to find both an actual "employer" as well as guys like myself who actually are here to work and meet a nice person or couple who will help them start or continue their lives.

Edited by Cw2017
Misspelled wordd
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We have had some houseboys over the years.  We helped a few get here, but never money directly.  It was not uncommon for them to be desperate, homeless having been put out by parents or abused and just needed somewhere stable to figure out what they wanted to do.  With social attitudes changing that is not as common today.  There are also major scammers out there.    Of our former houseboys quite a few are now very successful and we are still friends. 

Our hiring goes:  email, phone, video chat - now facetime, we even ask for references (some go from location to location).  Stretch it out if you can and become friends, get to know their personality.  If they are a scammer they will move on when they know money is not coming.   We have done bus tickets, flight, gone to meet them personally.  There are some really great houseboys out there. 

There are also human trafficers out there, they always want money up front.

Money directly is always a scam. 

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Hi and Happy New Year to you too.  I ended giving up on this site.  I had way too many scammers.  Most of them sent me pictures but I guess they don't realize that there are sites online that you can upload pictures and they will match them with what is posted online on other sites.  99.9% of the time the pictures came from porn sites.

So I finally took a chance on craigslist local.  I found a 27 year old gay male with Asperger Syndrome that wanted to move out of his house here in the same town.  I interviewed him and he seemed ok so I took him over to see the house.  Long story short, he has been here since August.  Not exactly what I was looking for but he is working out.

I wish you the best of luck.  Some people told me to hang in there but I really needed someone right away.  As it turned out my partner is in the hospital and not sure if he will be coming home again so I'm glad I have someone here.  Although we did make a promise that I would never call him a houseboy.  It just didn't sound right to me.

I  wish you the best of luck and let me know how it goes.

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On 1/2/2018 at 8:33 AM, zack6969 said:

So I finally took a chance on craigslist local.  I found a 27 year old gay male with Asperger Syndrome that wanted to move out of his house here in the same town.  I interviewed him and he seemed ok so I took him over to see the house.  Long story short, he has been here since August.  Not exactly what I was looking for but he is working out.

 

Interesting story.  I hope you tell us more sometime.

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I really have to agree with those who say NO to sponsoring travel to meet you. the fact is, part of demonstrating that a houseboy is serious is the willingness to step out into the unknown at HIS cost, because, basically, it's an investment in yourself, and a pretty good sign as to whether, in the long run, they will be dependable, stable, and adventurous enough to be able to make that leap of faith.

My situation began in college, when I began dating a guy who actually needed me because his growing up homelife was, well, it sucked! Parents that forced him into gymnastics, at age 5, which had a good outcome, he won a full-ride sccholarship to the Midwestern college I attended. At the age of 25, when he STOPPED daily training, he went from 5'2" to 5'7" in less than a year, which his doctor said was mostly due to allowing his body a chance to heal and acheive a normal metabolism. In all, I feel like I benefitted as much from being with him, as he did with me, since it was good for me to be a bit of a mentor, and bring out the best in both of us.

later on, I made the error of taking on three other boys, full-time, two, on call, when it got extreme, in managing a gay resort Inn,... a fun period, but stressful, as was also working an eight-hour shift at a college. Had it not been for my boyfriend's drive, loyalty and willingness to make things work, it's doubtful we would have had an eight-year successful run at it! Of course, we self-recruited out of the gay community, and also mainly students, who needed a break, anyway, but with the flexible hours and inconvenience of five men living in a 3 -ring circus of guests, tours, and keeping a place open 24 hours a day, Would I do it again? No, definitely not, but we all benefitted financially, and grew almost to the point of being family over that eight years. how many times one of us went down to the desk at 3AM in jeans, shirtless and barefoot sounds sexy, but the average amount of sleep a day was more likee 5 hours than 8.  Part of the reason I would not do it again, is that it really has changed for the worst. Where it used to be a tiny whisper of an opening brought in curious young men, today, most of the people in the age group I was dealing with, have neither interest,  nor aptitude to deal with an actual person-to-person communication job, and their expectations are more in the Hollywood lifestyle than "Hold on, we'll get through this." attitude. 

 

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