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clayton

Way to list Scammers

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There should be a way to list a scammer and be able to provide all details and information for these people that ruin this site for all of those that are sincere and honest. We should be able to include names they have used, phone numbers they have used, passports they have used, pictures they have used, email addresses they have used. The web host could check to verify if the information was correct before allowing to be posted, just like a new picture or id information.

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Guest doby522

well, it seems as this sight is in the high 90% fake or scammers, same as all other sights. That goes for houseboys and employers the same, not sure their is a way to change that. I have been a member for a long time, have only met one guy in person from here and think he was a fake, also talked online to many that wanted money only and I didn't send any to them so they won't talk to me again. I am not sure their is a way to change that.

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Well In my opinion, before entering into any agreement whether you are a Employer or a House Boy, you should do your due diligence. Here are some tips that I think help some.

  1. communicate back and forth, don't be afraid to ask the questions about housing, sleeping arrangements, what you expect, what they expect, what is part of the arrangement and what is not.
  2. Make sure before you meet in person that you speak on the phone, I would also suggest you have at least one video chat as well
  3. Before Meeting, insist on a background check, This is for both Employers and Houseboys. There are places on the web you can have it done. Check out the essentials
    1. Arrest Record
    2. Driving Record
    3. in some cases a soft credit report (A soft pull describes an inquiry that does notaffect your credit score. Soft pulls, or soft credit checks, frequently occur and oftentimes you may not even be aware of it happening. Each soft pull is noted on your credit history file but they are only for you to see and are not available for lenders to view. Examples of soft credit pulls include:
      1. Credit report and score checks that you request yourself.
      2. Initial credit checks by credit card companies that want to solicit you for a pre-approved credit card.
      3. Initial credit checks by mortgage companies to pre-approve you for a loan.
      4. Credit background checks by a potential employer.
      5. Periodic credit checks by your insurance or credit card company to keep tabs on you.) I say even houseboys should do this. You don't want to get in a house only to find out that your employer is seriously past due and about to lose his house, car, and much much more, cause chances are you will be the one left out in the cold.
      6. And the most important thing. Get a contract drawn up, if you cant afford a lawyer you can find sites on the web that have basic employment contracts. Take that both of you sign it and have it notarized.
    4. None of these guarantee you anything but by having a legal contract and one or the other defaults on their end any future employers or houseboys that connect with this person and they follow the same steps they will see it on the background check.
      1. Side Note: this only works if when one party defaults on the contract you take them to court (small claims will do just fine, yes you want whats coming to you but you will also be helping the next guy alot and isnt that what its really about?)

I know what I laid out is complicated but you cant rely on someone posting on the internet, you need proof, alot of times the one posting the smack is really the shady one, they know what to do and they are quick to beat the honest guy to the punch.

Lastly I can not stress this enough:

Potential Employers: Be cautious after doing all the above, don't give them access to your accounts, that includes your pin number, don't hand them a credit card because you dont have time to accompany them. Have them open an account at the same bank as you, you can then transfer money to them with out a fee.

Potential Houseboys same goes for you, i have heard stories of the Employer telling a naive boy to turn all there financials and effects over to them and they will take care of them.. Be cautious in doing this cause many times you are the one that gets so buried in debt that you cant get out.

I know this was long winded but I hope it helps someone.

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There should be a way to list a scammer and be able to provide all details and information for these people that ruin this site for all of those that are sincere and honest. We should be able to include names they have used, phone numbers they have used, passports they have used, pictures they have used, email addresses they have used. The web host could check to verify if the information was correct before allowing to be posted, just like a new picture or id information.

I know this is an old post but I think this is a great idea but it needs to be a list for BOTH HOUSEBOYS AND EMPLOYER scams.

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If you follow these basic rules, you should be fine for the most part:

Employers:

Rule #1: Never ever blindly send someone money for any reason, especially if you have never met them in person. If the boy requires money for sick grandma in order to continue talking to you, just move on to the next guy.

Rule #2: If you have to buy someone transportation, make sure you buy the ticket and they can't do anything with it other than come to you, i.e. can't refund it or change it without paying a high fee. However, I usually prefer just to visit them and bring them back with me. Yes, it costs more, but it is the safest, especially considering you get to meet them first before actually committing to them moving in. And, most importantly, the scammers will never agree to meet first and go back with you. It's an easy way to weed them out before a dime is spent.

Houseboys:

Rule #1: Never go to stay with someone without having a backup plan. You don't want to get there and then be forced to stay there against your wishes without a way to get back or place to go. The backup plan could even be another potential employer willing to bail you out quick.

Rule #2: Make sure the employer knows what to expect out of you and what you expect of them. Never agree you will definitely be having sex with them. If anything, indicate it could be possible if all works out with the employment/relationship after awhile. The ones out for sex only, and likely leaving you out in the cold soon after getting it, are not likely to agree to have you come if are being flakey about the sexual part, and definitely won't pay to have you come if they know you have a backup plan. It's a great way to weed these types out. But even if you are the sexual type, it's still a bad idea to put out soon after you arrive. First make sure the employer is comfortable with you being there and you comfortable as well. As soon as a routine is established and longer-term plans being discussed, would I consider the sexual part.

Rule #3: Research the person you are moving in with and the place they live to be sure you are comfortable with what you are getting into.

If you follow the above rules, you'll quickly realize how few legit people are actually on here. You will have fewer opportunities, in fact they will be quite rare. But I'd rather deal with that than being scammed even once.

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The problem we run into is that often the reason a houseboy is looking for a job is that they are not working and have no money so unless you are willing to help with travel they cannot afford to get to you. Normally I tell them I will reimburse them for any travel expenses once they arrive and all is good and everything they have told me is true. I made the mistake of sending $100 to Michael22 for gas money and of course he turned out to not only be a scammer, but using different names on different sites. On the "other" houseboy site he is Matthew Myers, on here he is Michael Dawson, which is the name he used at Western Union to pick up my money. Insist on seeing your boy on cam either on yahoo or skype or on your phone's facetime and get him to take a selfie in the bathroom mirror showing either a current newspaper or holding up his fingers a certain way so that he can't just send a pic off the internet of the guy he is using to fake who he is.

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Putting the names of scammers on this site likely won't help because if a person (houseboy and employer alike) can't "read" the obvious red flags a scammer is giving you, what makes you think that person would take the time to read a list of scammers? I've never known of anyone to post something about a scammer without stating something that makes everyone (including the one scammed) say "man, now who didn't see that coming?".

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It's odd how most people respond to this title as if only the houseboys are scammers. I mean, technically speaking, every employer that doesn't pay taxes for their houseboy is scamming the government, but let's not go there. I've met plenty of "employers" (or chatted on this site) that turned out to just be horny old men looking for a desperate "boy" because that's the only way he'd be able to be with a "boy" like that.

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BEWARE of out of country prospects who ask for BTA...

Internet Financial Scams - US Embassy in London
london.usembassy.gov/.../internet_...
Embassy of the United States, London
Beware of anyone who requests funds for a BTA, or Basic Travel Allowance, as a requirement to depart another country for the United States. There is no such thing as a BTA. In other cases, your Internet friend will claim to need a travel allowance, or travel money, to be able to travel to the United States.
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Scams are absolutely everywhere, and gay men in general are targets as they want to believe that the opportunity for our dreams not only exists but is as easy as going to the local store and picking it up.

We as "employers" are real, and houseboys do exist.. not everyone is scamming. All suggestions here are excellent. Due diligence, background checks, not advancing money... all important. As to employers "not paying taxes" one should really research the basis for the Federal Reserve and IRS and you'll see that if you do not perform due diligence in that arena, it is truly we the taxpayers being scammed.

That goes to say that in life there is no golden ring to grab on this carousel we call earth. Like everything else, you have to give for what you get, and the benefits received are always equal to or less than those given.

The glass is half full, gentlemen. Remember that dark cannot invade light, but light certainly can eliminate dark!

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Is the same for employees...i cant trust any employer profile ..so many of them just like to collect pics... I just tell them. Lets do a face call much better so u know for sure the person u talking is the real thing...saddly no many employers like to do that ..but is the pnly way you can find out if they really are serious or not.

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In the end, I still think the best way to list scammers is good old-fashioned common sense. Whether the scammer is a listed employer here or a listed houseboy, just don't set yourself up to be scammed. Don't ignore the obvious. If you catch a guy in a lie, there is no reason to waste more time on him trying to argue a point. Just cut him off and move on. Otherwise, that bit of arguing you're doing that makes you think you're getting the last word or the last laugh is really him learning how to be a better scammer the next time by learning from your reaction to whatever red flag tipped you off. If he wants money for travel, send him a ticket instead. If he needs your social security number to "employ" you here, think twice about just giving it out. There is no such thing as a person being too cute to lie. 

Refuse to send money and refuse to give out confidential information that could be used to access your protected information. 

It truly is a shame how bad the scamming has become on this site and how it is what caused the other sites to shut down (anyone else remember the amazing site yourhouseboy.com... miss that site). Still, that doesn't mean there aren't still hundreds of great people on this site looking to find or fill that perfect houseboy position. Just be smart about it and think before putting yourself in a bad position. 

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It is really overwhelming to read these comments, well, it is better to be cautious and have some guidelines that allow us to err less. However, there is something I did not expect and it seems horrible to me, probably because it directly touches the position I assume on this site, that is, that of houseboy.

I was robbed by a guy in my city, and the truth is more what he lost by stealing from me than what I lost in money, (it may sound ridiculous) but he lost the possibility of keeping in touch with a nice person, and in fact this guy returned asking for forgiveness, but pitifully trust and empathy are fundamental, and there wasn't the first one and therefore neither the second one.

An untrustworthy houseboy is disappointing, but reading that there are employers who can invite a houseboy to their homes and then drifting... it seems really low. It should not happen to either of them, but usually a houseboy is in a position of greater need than an employer, so in case of a hoax the houseboy may be in a situation of greater vulnerability and that makes that scam so low.

Okay, what else to say, thanks for the tips.

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It’s my personal opinion that a prospective employer should arrange the prospective houseboy’s transportation to employer’s residence either by physically accompanying him or purchasing “round trip fare” for him so he is guaranteed a way back if things don’t work out. I suggest that be in the form of a non refundable ticket. If employer chooses to pick up and accompany houseboy in personal he should immediately offer him enough for him to return home in the form of cash or prepaid debit card before ever leaving the general area. All of this brought up and agreed upon prior of course. Effectively at least gives the houseboy a way out. 

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 I recently found three house boys trying to scam me but the moment I asked if they had money to buy a ticket and that I would reimburse them when they arrived they immediately stopped responding. I also  found that they do not answer basic questions about their skills about their interests the only thing they reply back is how they’re going to take care of you how good they are in bed so for me this becomes a  red flag .   I feel if they can’t pull together enough money for airfare that perhaps they’re not a responsible individual and I would have trouble having them into my house not being able to trust them.  Through emails it should become evident of what they’re trying to do; if they truly are legitimate then a nonrefundable ticket is probably the best way to go yes I know some young men have a difficult time earning money for trips on airplanes but the heart is set on it where there’s a will there’s a way .  So perhaps the real question is one of trust how do you establish trust between two strangers; that should be an interesting topic for further discussion

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My only response is through time and patience. It takes time to build trust. Without enough of it there will be no mutual arrangement. Could take a month or two or however long. Only a fool would allow a total stranger you don’t know if you can trust to come in to your home. Good luck to you all and keep on searching. There’s a good one out there for us all. 

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My favorite experience was the 3 years I spent in Key West because of a man that I met that morning and by that night he emailed me my itinerary information about my flight the next day. Was that a crazy, foolish thing to do? Not at all. In reality, I had money in my pocket and could have afforded my way back on my own, and I'm not exactly helpless, plus the guy I went to meet set everything up so he couldn't lose anything in the end except the cost of the ticket, which a few thousand dollars was nothing to him. We met for an initial week and the ticket was a 2 way ticket, but I ended up leaving 3 years later after the best experience of my life all from a guy that I met and basically moved in with within 24 hours of first saying hi.

If you're open and honest enough online, it's easy to break the ice. I don't consider online chatting as "getting to know someone", and just because something happens fast doesn't mean either person is being foolish about anything. Just have things set up to be able to move that fast if you wish to do so. If you can't afford to "lose" the price of a ticket, then don't buy one. If you can't afford to get yourself out of trouble, then you can't afford to put yourself in that situation in the first place. I'll admit, I met this guy on a totally different website that is more geared for mature gay man, mature having nothing at all to do with age, but I have made connections on here too and moved from Cali to Texas after chatting with a guy on here for about a day, which led to an unforgettable 9 year relationship.

Trust is something you must have in yourself, not in someone else. I trust that I can do what I need to do to be okay at any given time, and so does any smart man. Even if that means limiting where a "boy" can go in the house for a while, or putting up cameras, doing background checks (which, if they give you false info, you could easily be looking up someone that isn't even them), meeting in public first, staying in a nearby hotels or air bnb for a week or two as you two spend time together first to see how you all match, etc. Because I was able to trust in myself, I was able to take chances on other people. Some worked out and some didn't, but I had the power to walk away at any point from the very start, and any man that I met took precautions to protect himself and his belongings. 

Even with that said, I would not actually encourage most men on here to take chances like that because there are so many men that, no matter what the warnings, will send a cute boy money in a heartbeat assuming he has to be sincere because he's too cute to be lying. Sounds stupid when you say it out loud, but every person that has been taken advantage of has been scammed because of what the guy looked like and what he imagined the sexual encounters would be like with such a young, cute thing (or the houseboys that were scammed by the charming and incredibly handsome employers that were too good to be true). 

In any case, the victim pretty much knew they were being scammed but didn't believe it til the money was gone and the communication stopped. This means these guys saw the red flags but didn't trust their own judgement and, instead, put all their trust in some random picture of some random cute boy because his looks matched the idea of a perfect boy. Trust in yourself and it will be amazing to see how you just don't fall for scammers, which would then leave you a ton of time to focus on the (few) good guys on here that are real and would be more than happy to become a part of your life. 

That's just my opinion, anyhow. What the hell do I know haha.... 

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Thanks for your input on the topic. I enjoyed the read. Lots of good info. And the stories of the two positive relationships you were fortunate to share is encouraging for us all. Trusting in your own intuition is so important. If it feels right, go for it. If it doesn’t, step away. 

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